Mistress Kiki of Bristol - A Glossary of BDSM Terms
Mistress Kiki provides you with a basic BDSM glossary, great to learn the basics –
A
Abrasion – Also known as a Dutch Rub, can involve wool, steel/wire wool, thistles or sandpaper etc.
Adult Baby – A person who takes on the persona of an infant, this can be to temporarily lose the stress of adult life.
Asphyxia – A type of breath play, can be very dangerous, please research carefully before considering.
B
Ball gag – a ball in the mouth attached to straps secured around the back of the head
Bastinado – pain on the soles of the feet inflicted by things like whipping, flogging or using a crop etc.
BDSM – Bondage & Discipline, (Dominant/submissive), SadoMasochism
Blindfold – covering another’s eyes to take away their sense of sight
Blood Play – drawing blood from someone, can be very risky so please learn more about HIV/hepatitis risks before doing anything involving blood
Bondage – tying someone up, most commonly with rope, chains, latex tape etc. There are many specialist types of bondage but usually someone is tied to something or has their limbs tied together
Butt Plug – an object intended to be inserted into the anus with a flared base as the anal muscles try to draw it in.
C
Cable Tie – a small piece of plastic, often used by the police in place of handcuffs, can be used to tie limbs together etc.
Cane – a thin, often wooden thin piece used to strike, very painful and leave welts.
CBT – Cock and ball torture
Chastity – making a person unable to have sex, it can be mental, using a chastity device or a piercing
Chilli Play – a piece of cut chilli is placed on the skin or sensitive areas, must be done with caution but has benefits in that it can be applied to areas such as kidneys which must not be struck
Cock Ring – a ring placed around a flaccid (not erect) penis, blood may flow into it but not back out again ensuring the penis remains erect
Collar – an item placed around a sub’s neck, may be used to secure them to something else
Consent – permission, must be established and parties must know what their activities will involve
Cross Dressing – dressing as someone of the opposite sex
Cuffs – used around wrists and ankles to restrain
D
Dominant/Dom/Domme/D – the person who controls the other (the submissive)
Dungeon – a room/s set up for BDSM play, equipped with things like wall hooks and racks
E
Enema – filling the bowel/lower intestine with water, colonic irrigation
Exhibitionism – the enjoyment of being watched
Epilation/Sugaring/Tweezing/Threading/Waxing – painful hair removal methods
F
Fetish – the sexual enjoyment of non-sexual items such as leather etc.
Figging – the insertion of a piece of peeled ginger into the anus/vagina.
Fisting – the insertion of a hand into a vagina or anus
Flagellation – flogging or whipping
Flogger – a kind of whip with a handle and many tails, usually leather but can be rope or horsehair etc
Foot worship – the adoration of feet
G
Gag – an object used to tie the mouth, can consist of a ball in the mouth, a ring to keep the mouth open or a piece of material etc
Gimp – a person who wears rubber, leather or PVC with a hood, often a gay male submissive
Golden Showers – a form of play involving urinating on another
H
Hard Limit – a limit which is at the very edge of a person’s boundaries and may not be moved
Hard Sports – urinating, defecating, bleeding or vomiting as part of BDSM play
House Slave/Girl/Boy – a submissive who performs household tasks for their dominant, often naked and usually performs the tasks naked. May or may not do this as part of a sexual scenario
I
Irons – a form of bondage involving iron shackles on wrists, ankles, neck etc
J
Japanese Bondage – an art form known as Shibari, involves highly intricate methods of rope bondage
K
Kneeling stock – a short set of stocks a person is restrained to to keep them in a kneeling position
Knife Play – using a blunt knife to evoke a psychological response or a sharp one to draw blood
L
Lifestyle – can refer to being in the BDSM life
M
Masochism – enjoying being caused pain in the BDSM context
Mummification – being wrapped tightly, by rope or cling film for example
N
Newbie – someone new to the lifestyle
Nipple clamps – used to apply pressure to nipples, pegs work very well
O
Orgasm Control – where one person’s ability to have an orgasm is controlled by another
P
Paddle – a piece of wood or hard leather used to strike someone, often on their buttocks
Piercing – where a hole is made through the skin and a piece of jewellery is inserted, e.g. nipples, labia, clitoris, foreskin
Pony/Puppy Play – where the submissive is dressed as a horse or dog and allows the dominant to treat them as such by riding, dressage, sleeping in a kennel and as a ‘working pony/dog’ to move logs etc.
Q
Queening – a (normally female) dominant sits on the face of a submissive in order to receive forced oral sex
R
Rape Play – as with any consensual BDSM play this is discussed before hand, the submissive is ‘forced’ to have sex
Role Play – where participants imagine they are someone else, often involving costumes/uniforms, eg police officer and interrogation suspect
S
Sadist – a person who gains pleasure from the pain of others, opposite of masochist
Safe Word – often as part of BDSM play, the word “no” does not mean no, an innocuous word is usually established beforehand meaning no/stop, e.g. “zebra”
Scat Play – using faeces as part of play/evacuating ones bowels on another
Sissy – a man made to act or dress like a woman
Spank – to strike a person’s buttocks with a hand or a paddle
Spreader Bar – a (usually) wooden pole to which arms or legs can be attached to spread them apart
Submissive/Sub/Subby – the person who is dominated by another
Switch – where a dominant and submissive switch roles allowing an exchange of power
T
Tawse – a leather striking instrument which has a split end
TENS Unit – an electrical stimulator
Total Power Exchange (TPE) – where one person is always submissive and the other always dominant for an indefinite amount of time
Traffic Lights – green = fine, carry on. Amber = slow down, not there, no harder etc. Red = stop immediately. Usually, telling someone “no” or “stop” in BDSM play does not mean this as part of the scenario so the traffic lights and/or safe words are used instead to keep the flow of the play
Transvestite/TV – someone who dresses as someone of the opposite sex
U
Uniform Play – where one or both (or all) partners are dressed in uniform as part of role-play, e.g. doctor and nurse
V
Vanilla – anything not part of the BDSM world, e.g. a vanilla club is a non-fetish club
Voyeurism – the sexual gratification coming from watching others
W
Water Sports – see Golden Showers, enjoyment of urination
Waxing – the removal of hair by applying wax to the area followed by a strip of material which is quickly ripped off. Produces a smooth result and hair remains gone for much longer than shaving. Can be painful and can be required by a dominant of a submissive for this reason and the aesthetic and practical results.
Wax Play – dripping hot melted candle wax onto someone, a painful and sensual part of BDSM play. Do not use scented or coloured candles as these may irritate the skin
X
X-Frame – also known as a St. Andrew’s Cross, an ‘X’ shape which someone can be tied to
Y
Yoke – an often wooden device placed around neck and wrists used to secure someone over their shoulders
Z
Zip Strip/Zipper – a line of wooden/plastic clothes pegs attached to a piece of cord so that they can be removed in one pull or individually